3 Experts Explain How to Leave Personal Issues out of the Workplace

3 Experts Explain How to Leave Personal Issues out of the Workplace Maybe life feels like its hitting the fan at home, and you feel forced to put on a brave face at work to just get throughtheday. Youre notlage alone. It may surprise you just how many women are silently struggling at their desks, too.Whatever it is that youre going through, the chances are high that another woman in your sekretariat is dealing with issues at home, too. She may be coping with depression,anxiety or just thesheer feeling of being overwhelmed, as well.After all, its estimated that 16.1 1000000 adults in the United States, or 6.7 percent of American adults, have had at least one major depressiveepisode in a given year. Maybe youre not depressed, but you are dealing with debilitating anxiety. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the country, affecting 40 million adults in the United States, or 18.1 percent of the population every year.Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), specifically, aff ects 6.8 million adults, or 3.1 percent of the U.S. population, andonly 43.2 percent are receiving treatment for it. GAD often co-occurs with major depression, according to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America.Women have it the worst theyre twice as likely to be affected by GAD as men. Its no secret that working women are tasked with wearing multiple hats being the primary caretakers of their homes and working while at it. And theyre often the subjects of shame for how their parenting choices affect their careers and vice versa. Throw on top of that the everyday pressures of family, marriage, finances, home ownership and more and the potential conflicts that could come with those (read being unable to afford the astronomical costs of childcare or college tuition, fighting custody battles, going through divorce, coping with various forms of abuse, caring for a sick or elderly parents, missing mortgage payments, the list goes on...) and surviving some days can feel li ke an impossible feat.We spoke with experts to share their best advice on how to separate issues at home from work, so women can make sure their workplaces are leise productive safe spaces.1. Be Gentle on YourselfThe womens movement has opened an array of opportunities in education and careers for women however, in many families, women are still primarily responsible for raising the children and caring for household chores, says TheresaGil, psychotherapist, psychology professor, and trainer who works with women, children and families dealing with recovery from child abuse and trauma. Gil is also the author ofWomen Who Were Sexually Abused as Children Mothering, Resilience, and Protecting the Next Generation. The women I work with in my practice are not only caring for the physical and emotional needs of their children,but they are also responsible for the household tasks such as laundry, cookingand cleaning. Mothers find it very stressful to balance the tasks of managing home and wo rk schedules with parenting responsibilities. It is understandable why mothers feel exhausted with the multiple tasks involved in caring for their children and work. Many of the mothers I work with, particularly single moms, express that working full-time while managing household and mothering responsibilities leaves them feeling overextended, and it limits the physical and emotional energy they desire to provide to their children.A womans family responsibilities are never-ending and easily seep into other arenas of her life including the workplace. It is necessary that working moms be gentle with themselves. Many of the expectations we have in our roles as mothers and in our careers are standards that others set. We have images of what it means to be good and effective in our multiple roles. Many times these external standards are unrealistic and should be re-evaluated. It is important to take the time to assess our own personal values, goalsand beliefs and to ensure that we are li ving our life congruent with our values.The mothers in my practice are able to manage their family and work responsibilities by creating a realistic structure in their lives. A predictable structure and routine reduces daily stressors. They also have friends and family that offer emotional and caretaking support. Cultivating a supportive system in and outside of work helps to alleviate stressors and increase energy, focusand a sense of well-being.2. View Work as an EscapeA good strategy to mentally separating home issues from work time is to see your work time as an escape from your home issues, says Miki Feldman Simon, founder ofBy making that decision you are setting up a positive separation between the two worlds. It can help you create a healthy place for your mind to have a rest from the issues at home. You are telling yourself that now, at work, is not the time you want to think about home. When thoughts about the home issues re-enter your mind, you can repeat to yourself this is work time.3. Stay GroundedIm a therapist and I work solely with women, many of whom are working and raising a family at the same time, says Heidi McBain, a licensed marriage and family therapist, professional counseler, registered play therapist and author ofLife TransitionsPersonal Stories of Hope ThroughLifes Most Difficult Challenges andChanges. Give yourself a set time and space when you will be able to process what was going on at home. It may not be until later in the evening when you can sit down and journal, call your best friend, talk to your spouse, etc.Any time the issue pops into your head during the work day, gently remind yourself that you will be able to process it at 7p.m. that evening (as an example). Use self-care practices such as meditating, mindfulness/focusing on your five senses, exercising, journaling, etc. asmeans to help you stay present and grounded in the here-and-now.--AnnaMarie Houlis is a multimedia journalist and an adventure aficionado with a kee n cultural curiosity and an affinity for solo travel. Shes an editor by day and a travel blogger at HerReport.org by night.